Regretfully, some Useless™ consumers have not experienced
complete and total satisfaction as a result of purchasing some (but not all) Useless™
products. Since complete and total satisfaction is difficult to achieve, and although not
expressly stated it is the implicit claim of Useless Industries that all Useless Products
everywhere must be purchased by the consumer to achieve complete and total satisfaction
(your results may vary) as such Useless Industries does not hold itself liable against
such claims. These claims are reproduced here for informational purposes only and are in
no way to be construed as an admission of guilt.
- MyName:
- Geren Tocracy
- product:
- eclectic orbit detector
- complaint:
- shoddy workmanship
- Date:
- 09 Nov 2002
whathappened
It seems we are experiencing a slightly electic orbit presently - however your product fails to detect it. Please advise
- MyName:
- bob spande
- product:
- ...continued
- complaint:
- other (please be very specific!)
- Date:
- 05/29/04
whathappened
bob i want to write something for the site. assign me something puhleese!
- MyName:
- dr.muhammedbabiker
- product:
- ...continued
- complaint:
- other (please be very specific!)
- Date:
- 06/14/04
whathappened
falafil maker
- MyName:
- powerpup
- product:
- leaky alibi detector
- complaint:
- I got something that I didn't expect
- Date:
- 02/11/05
whathappened
- MyName:
- Laurence Kyle Pennington
- product:
- ...continued
- complaint:
- other (please be very specific!)
- Date:
- 10/12/05
whathappened
Coincidences, coupled with correlated randomness...
- MyName:
- jake parker
- product:
- ...continued
- complaint:
- other (please be very specific!)
- Date:
- 06/12/06
whathappened
I tried the ...continued link and there wasn't anything else! What am I supposed to do now???
- MyName:
- Useless Idiot
- product:
- bikini briefs for the larger man
- complaint:
- shoddy workmanship
- Date:
- 11/15/06
whathappened
my dick was way to big for them
- Contact_FullName:
- Robert Stacy
- product:
- falafil waffle maker
- complaint:
- rude, unhelpful, or inefficient salesperson
- Date:
- 27 Feb 2001
whathappened
TEST
- Contact_FullName:
- product:
- gamma ray toaster
- complaint:
- shoddy workmanship
- Date:
- 01 Mar 2001
whathappened
- Contact_FullName:
- Yolanda Spinks
- product:
- kill or be killed electr. companion
- complaint:
- product or service not delivered altogether
- Date:
- 05 Mar 2001
whathappened
I don't remember. I was too stoned.
- Contact_FullName:
- grendel
- product:
- bikini briefs for the larger man
- complaint:
- untimely delivery of product or service
- Date:
- 09 May 2001
whathappened
The shipment was delayed so I had to wear a thong in the meantime. Needless to say it
chaffed my ass something fierce.
- Contact_FullName:
- product:
- bikini briefs for the larger man
- complaint:
- I got something that I didn't expect
- Date:
- 10 May 2001
whathappened
My husband of 45 years wanted to impress me one day by sporting your new line of bikini
briefs for the larger man. Well, because of blood flow constriction to that personal area,
he ended up in the hospital for 2 days, diagnosed with "constrictus genitalius".
We now have $200,000 in medical bills we can't afford (has nothing to do with the 3 other
lawsuits we currently have pending). I demand that you either give us the $200,000 plus $
for emotional suffering on my husband's part, or at least enlarge the "For large
midget men only..." disclaimer. Had we seen that first off, this whole incident could
have been avoided. Thank you for your time. I'll have my people contact yours.
Sincerely, Samantha
- Contact_FullName:
- ebenezer flabulla
- product:
- the man purse
- complaint:
- I got something that I didn't expect
- Date:
- 15 May 2001
whathappened
It's not for a man!!
- Contact_FullName:
- BOB
- product:
- jack of all trades marital aide
- complaint:
- shoddy workmanship
- Date:
- 25 May 2001
whathappened
- Contact_FullName:
- john
- product:
- novosibirsk vacation resorts
- complaint:
- other (please be very specific!)
- Date:
- 05 Jul 2001
whathappened
It was the Vodka, I think.
- Contact_FullName:
- Pauldog
- product:
- cellular mitosis family in a jar
- complaint:
- other (please be very specific!)
- Date:
- 16 Aug 2001
whathappened
It was too useful
- Contact_FullName:
- Pauldog of St. Paul
- product:
- eclectic orbit detector
- complaint:
- I got something that I didn't expect
- Date:
- 24 Aug 2001
whathappened
release of energy greater than permitted by e = mc hammer
- Contact_FullName:
- product:
- ...continued
- complaint:
- I got something that I didn't expect
- Date:
- 22 Jan 2002
whathappened
- Contact_FullName:
- thad harder
- product:
- the man purse
- complaint:
- other (please be very specific!)
- Date:
- 25 May 2002
whathappened
I wore a MAN's purse!!!! the bruises are just now healing.
- Contact_FullName:
- product:
- alabaster medicated ointment
- complaint:
- shoddy workmanship
- Date:
- 03 Jul 2002
whathappened