UselessTM Industries Product Recall notification:
One of our most quintessentially UselessTM products, the
"Gamma-ray Toaster," seems to be causing some minor genetic
abnormalities out there. If your toaster doesn't seem to be
toasting toast properly but does leave you with that "tingling
feeling" in your testicles/ovaries when you stand near it, you
may have the Gamma-ray Toaster. If so, simply unplug the
toaster and remove the casing. Reach in and remove the
"mini-pile action core" from the unit and throw it away! No
fuss, no muss, thanks to Nuclear Power!
Above is a sketch of what we believe the toaster to have
looked like at one time.